FI
This wiki has been simultaneously raped by ManofSceince118 and russ_who_toss indefinitely. Description '[http://z4.invisionfree.com/Further_Instructions/index.php?act=idx'Further Instructions']' is a gathering place of TV.com rejects (castaways) to talk about Lost Heroes and other bullshit, mostly bullshit though...lol! Creation Paul2k4 of Tv.com, a CNet site, was frustrated when several of his friends on there were banned. Soon, he was suspended from Tv.com, which led to the creation of his InvisionFree Zeta board, Further Instructions. DID YOU KNO?? * 'FI' does not actually stand for 'Further Instructions' as is commonly assumed. It actually stands for 'Further Idiots'. Though it is a common misconception by the average Nub that FI is a corruption of the term "If I" and expect such a term to be further followed by some sort of threat. I.E. "FI had a bomb, I'd blow up TV.com" this usually causes various anti FI nubs to go ballistic in assumption of a perceived attack and will attempt to rectify it with attacks of their own, leaving FI members in general dumbfounded as to the turn of events. unfunny * Everybody on FI is from California. And they all go jogging in coats. * You're only welcome on FI if you're joaking 100% of the time. If you're EVER caught being srs under any circumstances, you're a butt-fucking retard that doesn't belong. =Users= The following people are the absolute scum of the planet. FI was created to keep them all off the streets and out of society so they only do harm to each other. None of them (with the exception of Dutchiee) have any sort of life outside the internet. These are their stories... First Users These three users were alone on the site in the beginning and used the time to have international orgies. This made robman uncomfortable, and thusly explains why he's not included in this section. Also, he is a n00b. Paulus2 Paulus2 is a Briddish alcoholic hobo with no real career prospects or a future (this is troo lol). As a result of this he joined TV.com in a bid to make friends, not realising that people on the internets aren't real people. He managed to turn the entire community against the site and incite a revolution to FI which he built. Well actually, it was Yoder who invited people because nobody really cared about Paul2k4. On joining their first post is usually "is this Yoder's 4um" and after realising some fag is in charge they leave without ever posting. He generally believes himself to be god and often in a drunken state will rant about how he can make it ALL GO AWAY. In a bid to appear more interesting he pretends to time travel on occasion and makes 1000s of accounts. This just makes everybody Jack-palm and wish that they could overthrow this moron once and for all. The many revolution attempts failed however, mostly because everybody has more of a life than Paul does. Paul is known for being extremely critical of others while blind to his own complete and utter, constant fail. He often talks about how FI is his best site EVAR and then before long veers off to complain about the member base in general LOL. I guess that means his best site EVAR SUX DIX. In the past he has criticised others for their chosen educational paths which is funny because at university he takes a course in playing video games, lol. Wut a tard. We all await anxiously the moment when he steps down as co-admin, sometime in the Autumn when he begins the 'work experience' year of his sandwich course, so called because with his 2:2 in computer games he will most likely end up making sandwiches for people who took actual academic courses. Paulus has delusions of grandeur that he will be the next Shigeru Miyamoto when in reality he will be the next dead frozen hobo. Everything is a JOAK to Paul unless he says otherwise. Hobbies: Doling out MOD positions in return for sexual favors, cheating at Tetris. According to inside sources, Paul is set to step down from ADMIN for the MUNDAI'th time. Vegas is now taking bets on when he will need to feel needed again and usurp the kingdom from fagtard bitch. Paulus recently turned the FROZEN HONKEY WHEEL and subsequently can never return to being internets god. He is a regular member and as such spends many evenings in cold regret, crying into his pillow. It is expected that thirty years from now he will be stumbling around dark bars muttering about how he had it all once. Krkv6 Krkv6 used to be a speaker. Due to some kind of exposure to radioactive PMS he became a forum poster. He was the third person to join FI (robman doesn't count, LOL) and used the lack of initial activity to have secks with Dutchiee. Eventually he got a sex change and became Linder. Linder used to be a mod but russ slowly annoyed her to the point where the two had some kind of epic lovers' tiff and he stole her mod badge. * RECONSTRUCTED WUOTE: krkv6: RUSS IS AN ATHEIST FAMANATACIST russ_who_ross: ... wut? krkv6: Don't even start with me Russ russ_who_ross: GET HIT BY A TRAIN * Moar about Lin-duh She has left the site due to dramaz a grand total of 687 times, but she normally comes back only to leave again the following week. This article in itself will cause another exodus. She claims to be about 147, and assumes that everybody under the age of 60 is a kid which is pretty much the whole forum. MrDutchiee MrDutchiee was the first member to join FI and also the first co-admin. He is Australian which means his keyboard is upside-down. As a result he types like he is wearing a pair of boxing gloves (EX: Dutchiee: i saw ur one. it was weirs dtart. u wer elike singing). As a result of this conversation is difficult but nontheless possible by simply ignoring him altogether (replying with the occasional "yeah" helps). He got banned from TV.com, joined FI and was the only person posting for a month. He enjoyed discussing the show with himself and then one day loads of people showed up and he made himself a little family. However an epic war broke out between him and the evil Doc and ack. As a result of that he founded a forum called candyland (he misspelled it as Black Rock. What a nub) where people could discuss how much they loved lollipops and popcorn. UPDATE: lol the site no longer exists, apparently dutchiee cbf'd it He gave up on that and has since lurked in the shadows on FI, muttering revenge against Porl, who singlehandedly destroyed candyland. He claims his lack of activity is due to a social life. This is a lie, there are no real people in Australia. Though it must be noted that in Australia throwing bent sticks while wearing hats with corks (lol, wtf is up with those?) is considered a legitimate social activity. Dutchiee never changes his facial expression. EVA. * WUOTE: willy enjoys pussy u punce Elite Members DoctorYoda DoctorYoda was the most popular member on TV.com (except for 80677) and had a fanbase numbering the thousands. Then he got bant, and decided to recruit everybody to FI. They all did so because YODER is so kewl. Then everybody realised that he was some kid with a dumb haircut (lol, it looks like a mushroom) and not the jedi knight he claimed. Mostly Dutchiee. This caused him to get defensive about everything and a huge war broke out which ended in a literal divide in the site. No1 invited Yoder because no1 carez about Yoder. After the war ended people returned but still maintained their lack of interest. To raise his self-esteem he rig'd the FI: BBPE to look like he was the site favourite. Everybody knew that this was a load of crap but they let him have his moment because they knew he wouldn't have any more. Dock suffers from a case of trying too hard BRILLIANCY, and created the genius series, The Chronicles of Geraldpringle. Dock has recently been death threat'd by Zooko. Zuko: I LAUGH at you doc. I fucking laugh. Because you'll get what's coming to you. Russ_Who_Ross left|thumb|250px| Rooss daydreaming about his "interests" A.k.a. the MAN OF COOKEEZ, he is a British southern ponce who believes himself to be God's gift to the universe, and blames his shortcomings on RIG. This could not be further from the truth, as russ is in reality a retard. He does some politics thing even though no1 carez about politics, or pretty much russ_who_ross in general. According to gbvfan, Russ LOVES penises! As a nobody on TV.com who still complained about the stupidity there, russ showed up at FI and announced that he was becoming the new king. After he realised nobody was listening he settled down into a posting regime consisting mostly of the word LOL and began spawning memes. Unfortunately most of the memes weren't actually his own work, and his own memes are pretty garyface'd by everyone. But everybody humours him. Like...he'll come on and say "Hai guyz am I great or what? AM I?" and everybody smiles and says "heh yeah". Awkwardness follows. Russ has recently become disillusioned with the show, which caused MOS to short-circuit. The Californian has not been the same since. Roos' latest pursuit has been raping this wiki into submission with plotlines from his fan-fiction, which is currently read by no 1. Reading this article has made Russ EMO. NO FURTHER CITATIONS NEEDED. Ackermaniv (aka acker whacker) Son of the jazz-funk infused indie artist ackermaniii, ackermaniv was once a prominent member of the TV.com LOST forums. However general angst caused him to pick a fight with anybody smaller than he was (which is pretty much everyone, LOL) and the mods smacked him into the backwaters of the internet with their ban-maces. Forced into exile, Ack started over-eating and extended his angst to a blog about how everybody hated him. He eventually crawled out of the internet and wound his way on to furtherinstructions where he pretty much split the site in half, caused a mass exodus, ended a mass exodus and became something of an icon. He was even the first member to have a white name which fits in well with his ideas of racial purity. He likes lower-case letters, and as such is more commonly known as ackermaniv. This annoys MoonOfSkiing118 which often causes the two to have dramatic lovers' tiffs, of which MOS loses everytime on account of him being a pussy. Left FI FOREVER like 5 times. Has recently shown the ability to shapeshift. Taking the form of several other members and sullying their good names. Went BATSHIT INSANE in the mid summer of '07. Ack's Body Mass Index is reportedly "rofl" Enjoys repeatedly fucking with someones life by pretending to have sent a link to FI to his girlfriend via facebook, which caused SAID PERSON to panic. Likes: swoonlust, BOADIE BROADUS' tooth squirts, gossiping with Lostifyed and sometimes Lost. He also likes Mikes. wutafag. Dislikes: The human race, the memberbase, TV.com, Catch_22, every forum in existence, stupid people (see the human race), smart people, ShokoLove. ACCOUNT DELETION DRAMAZ Once upon a time, ack revealed to the forum that he actually likes drinking Mike's Hard Lemonade. Russ and paco set about on a vitriolic campaign of lulz against him and his poof drinks. After one particularly snide remark in the c-box, ack banned Milpool, who then long con'd Paulus into giving him temporary admin CP. Milpool set about immediately, permanently and lulzily deleting ackerman's account. Other board members didn't find it so lulzy however and Russ was slightly reprimanded. Moments later, everyone remembered that ack is basically a fagtard anyway and decided to take Russ's side even though he was clearly in the wrong. * WUOTES: Paulus: It's not my war ... (and then he gave Russ admin CP, wtf?) Paulus: Oh boo fucking hoo, emo kid got his PRECIOUS POST COUNT ERASED. Like all joaks, this was funnier when repeated Mere moons had past when Russ foresaw an opportunity to once again delete ack from FI, and he took the opportunity to do so. Paul was much less impressed this time around, which caused Russpool to go batshit bonkaz and get perma-banned. However this was all just a long-con against all of FI and specifically ack, who had already made up a long-con with Russ to get himself banned again as he thought he wouldn't have internet access while on holiday but then he did which somewhat ruined the larger long-con and then Paulus decided to back out of it because he's a pussy and we all joak'd and lol'd and partied down and it was just like diddy kong. * WUOTE: i took the most painful shit in the world yesterday. i felt like i got bumfukked Swoonlust Pretty much the only member of the site to be globally sucked up to. sunlust joined after the decline of TV.com even though he was never a part of the real community there. Regardless, he established his position on the FI throne and through intricate posts he became globally loved. The truth is that his posts are full of lots of big words, and nobody understands what he's saying ever. But they assume that with that many big words his posts must all be awesome and so he must in turn be awesome. It saves them the trouble of looking them up and looking like morons. He actually spends ten minutes per second reading a thesaurus in a bid to keep up the pretense. Spelling 'pretence' correctly is also pretentious. Sunlust is probably a bot. This is the most logical reason for the wordy posts and the fact that he never appears to sleep. Made in China© Leah Tired of being moderator at tv.com, Leah decided to join FI. Considered one of the friendliest members, Leah is also one of the bigger, more obsessive LOST fans on Further Instructions. Dropped out of high school to stalk B list celebrities and study TAXIDERMY. Writer of fan-fic 'LOST Restriction' She's into fat guys. Watch out ack. Pretends to be King Kong. (See picture.) Opened up a chain of stores called "Leahcakes" in the early 80's, but it was closed down due to the amount of fingers found in the frosting. * WUOTE: "Hey, I'd like to find my finger in her frosting! Woo yah!" - ackermaniv being subtle. Malion The man of 1000 identical faces. Malion (a.k.a. Ilam, Alvin, Mac, Mal, Ion, Moth, Deku, tire-iron brandishing sunlust, and Aaron Littleton of LOST KIDS fame) was one of the later members to join FI. He is known for promoting silence and has been known to clear entire conversations with a single post. He generally has no life and aspires to making himself the ultimate meme, and tries to get his words into the mainstream as much as possible. Using second rate fanfiction and his semi-bi-quarter-weekly podcast extravaganza, called "The Broceanic Jipped" Put simply, the man is clinically insane. There is no record of him adding to any discussion, as most posts of his are completely off topic. The silence doesn't mean it's working. The silence means no1 carez. He is simultaneously the poor man's russ, swoonlust, Von Paulus, Krkv6, and Jesus. Recently, Mal finally snapped and went bat-shit insane. He hijacked the c-box and kept it for himself. However, since Mal isn't very bright, he named the password after his girlfriend and underestimated the amount of time DoctorYoda has on his hands. Dock guessed the password and took the C-box back. Since Mal's plan failed, the whole thing was just a joke! We all believe you Mal :) richlost a.k.a. 'The Aging Cowboy' Some kind of cowboy/mail-man, and possibly a JOAK Wise and old, he won't say anything, if there's nothing worth saying. Anti-Cbox, lol wut? Good at making banners. CRTMN0463 Born Alec Bollig, and self-proclaimed hairiest man alive, after being abandoned by TWO fathers, CRTMN now lives with a pack of gorrilas, the youngest of which has sexual fetishes for toilet plungers. CRTMN, himself, possesses an unhealthy fetish for South Park. After being a n00b at TV.com, CRTMN quickly rose through the ranks to gain MOD status at FI (Long story short, CRTMN left FI to join BLACK COCK, and to lure him back to FI, Paul promoted him, and was reciprocated with a rusty trombone). A seemingly wonderful accomplishment, his new position has cursed him with a SKATE-like plunge into EMO-ness and he no longer carez about LYF. THANKFULLY, he has maintained his 'dignity' and refuses to drink or talk to girls. As of late, DETECTIVE CRTMNspooges at the thought of his WII. WUOTE BOLLIG: "I wish I could stick it in my Wii.." His uncle ernie calls him the Tickle Monster. Frosted Bollig, lol Has a penis-foot. SUM1 ADD A PIC PLZ, I CBF. pacojonezl40 Mexican lottery winner who joined FI through our Affirmative Action transfer programme. Basically we're fine with ethnic minorities, as long as they're rich. (This is why ShokoLove had to go.) Apparently he also has some Smerf fetish. D R I N K S ' 'B E E R. ' 'G O O D ' 'F O R ' 'H I M ! Oh wait, no he doesn't. After making some hilarious Mike's Hard Lemonade joaks about Ack, Paco is now buddy buddy with Russ. Many have speculated that their infamous man bond moments are actually pretty homosexual, and that the two may be moar than just friends? Hmm... but hey, there's no problem with guy love fellas! :toasts: WUOTE: ack rox teh cox and so do i! tribalchic One of the few relatively normal posters, liked by everyone. Occasionally snaps. Recently discovered to be a man. Joss Whedon fanboi (?) On the run from Youtube and Omish people. ...lol! JamesX32 Nice Guy, probably resulting from his perpetually hotbox't mountaintop single-wide. Lives in Kentucky, "the Smurf't Ganja State". Once played the washboard in a Led Zeppelin/Pink Floyd clusterfuck cover band called "Immigrant Song: The Wall". Was later booted to de curb by his bandmates for being a "Communist". JoeLostDharma Founder of the horseshit successful forum HAM. Irish. Also sings in the Celtic punk band 'The Nellys'. Joe recently hit puberty. As such he is fapping around about 90% of the times he makes a post. Apparently doesn't understanf. UPDATE: Joey now periodically logs onto FI exclusively to complain about how much he hates being on FI. No1 cares enough to try to understanf why, but he seems to be happy at his new home page BEEF so we just let him get on with it. Oh yeah and we deleted his site. Simple Propaganda Draws penii in iSketch. Has irregular bowel movements. athevolunteer The once popular and regular at the forum, has now left us for a forum made up of Tv.com-ers. Likes grammer and Big Brother. Comes by and posts every so often. He also goes to BAND CAMP. lol Discovered the Evil Blueberry >___> Moar like THE EVIL POOBERRY, AMIRITE? Update: The Evil Blueberry Returns and it's still fail DoctorAwesome The 'other Doctor' hails from Reykjavik, Hofueborgarsvaei, Brofughgterghiwutgjei, Ghoeirvefcavednedfifeetagg, Iceland. lol try saying dat 10 times fast. Enjoys the occasional HOT SPRING. Devastated by the crushing defeat the Icelandic Handball team suffered in the 2008 Olympics. Iceland isn't very good at anything so this was a BIG deal. This section is as small as Zuko's dick. It needs MOAR WURDS. Plz add MOAR WURDS teh n00bs ManOfSceince118 Also known as MOS or 'that gay kid from California', ManOfSceince118 is quite possibly the biggest butt-fuckingRETARD in the history of the world. He is known for raping the defenseless (Not just an hour ago he BUTTSECKS69'd this entire wiki into oblivion). He has no known friends ( they've all been CANYON'd lol nm, the original point stands, he's never had a friend) WUOTE MOS: "I see movies by myself all the time...I can't remember the last movie I saw with someone." Bri-guy spends all day watching episodes of lost, lying naked on the floor as he does so. He is the source of the largest amount of FAIL deposits, and unless unleashed in little spurts every 118 minutes, goes KABLAMO and freaks out more than HITLER. Everyone enjoys making fun of him, because frankly, it is just so easy... hence misspelling 'Science' and not capitalizing 'LOST'. We all hope he dies. Hobbies: Hanging out with friends, writing successful fan fiction and VS4 scripts, spelling, grammar, and underage drinking. WUOTE: Ack, you're whack. And you gon git smack(d) DICKS EVERYWHERE One day, MOS decided that everyone on FI was "boring" so he decided to take a 150 day break from the internetz. He's come back a dozen times since then, but no1 noticed or cared. 'ALTERNATE PERSONALITY/DOWN SYNDROME' MOS118, being extremely unhappy with his life, often creates alternate personalities then logs onto FI as if he were different people. Examples include: * Samuel Woodruff Backlund: obviously a made-up name, apparently an azn 'ex-friend' of MOS; CANYON'd * Teddy Wells: Ivan from TV's Lost, a.k.a. Teddy313 and so obviously MOS, obviously. * MoonOfSkiing108: MOS, but more anally-retentive, had potential but sort of pointless like Nicki and Powlo. * Dylan: MOS pretended to be a 'friend' of himself to 'scope out' FI and make sure people would be okay with his return * Spelling & Grammer (LOL): fail lol He almost has more accounts than ack. Not that that's possible 'Important equations relating to MOS' * MOS = admin - any authority whatsoever * Hitler > MOS * MOS = LIS^FAIL * MOS's Fish Biscuits = i'' More recently, MOS fail has escalated to a new level. Not only is he the only member with a H8 forum and H8 Group (which he happens to be a member of) dedicated to him, but his large amount of fails has gotten high enough to become poll'd. <--Because no one wants to hold his calculator while he figures out whether the movie's good or not. Vlog One day MOS made a vlog. Like all his videos, he stupidly deleted it soon after, but this one Ack was able to save. Therefore it will eternally be on the internets, whether MOS likes it or not. DDg3Pq61_jY Also, there have been a few 'parodies': 1M8atLaEQ4k 23RqqO-KBg8 HY8yK-RT7c0 bsrj22 '''aka The Black Knight (that nobody likes) aka African American Knight' ]] kentucky bsrh Bsrj has now been replaced on FI by his Mexican cousin bsrh, thank fuck. SUM1 PLZ UPLOAD VIDEOS OF BSRJ IN DA DREAM WORLD I CBF deleting the cbox turned him ghey, WUOTE: "If I get banned, I want you ALL to know, you are some of the coolest most understanding people I know. I wish I knew people like all of you in real life. You all love to make tons of jokes but you know when to take things seriously. you are some of the nicest people I know too, and I go to a christain highschool. if I get banned I will miss you all a ton." Zuko412 FI's token black guy, e.g. he plays basketball, is 6 foot tall and his name is Michael. He got fired from his job at his Dad's fried chicken restaurant for masturbating into the chicken buckets too much. Or not enough. The story is unclear but involved droogz. He once had a girlfriend but then... He likes black whores Zuko decided he didn't want to wait around for Nicole to be 'ready' for his snake on her plane and so made up stories about sleeping with other wimminz. He decided he likes black whores best because they are "more loose." However every silver lining has a cloud and Zuko once complained in the c-box that despite their positive attributes, black whores "have no souls." Well of course they don't Zuko. They're black. Then Nicole's Dad got killed in a drive-by and Zuko decided to ease the mood by making a JOAK about drive-bys. This prompted her to ironically dump his bum on da curb and leave forever. Negatopia Zuko412 was also the mastermind behind the groundbreaking fanfic series Negatopia, a word created ingeniously by Zuko to describe a 'negative utopia', some kind of DYSTOPIC future in which the series was set. HOWEVER, It is a little-known fact that MOS actually made the name 'Negatopia'. And nobody had any complaints until Russ noticed this. Parrot Zuko, being black, is terribly uneducated. As such, he resorts to copy & pasting and slightly changing the wording of illegal chinks' posts. This plagiarism makes up approximately 98% of his posts. The other 2% are posts that blow your motherfucking mind. This just in: Zuko is now a gigantic prick. Although he doesn't have one. lol Zuko_4-12: lol wut are bjs like? Zuko_4-12: Wuts a ZJ? Sue Johanson: A ZJ, zuko, is a girls last resort. Sue Johanson: Only depressed, worthless women are willing to give them. Sue Johanson: An AJ, on the other hand.... every girl wants to do that. kittengoespoop An aspiring actor and regularly defecating kitten who has an affinity for word filters. He sometimes can be heard to claim that his name is actually kittengoesPOP, but this is not true for two reasons: 1. It is not true 2. Kittens don't go pop. Unless you put them in a microwave. But then you'd be a sick fuck. Have you considered joining FI? Although originally classified as 'Elite', he is actually a n00b. I would write more about KGP, but I abstain, courteously. mikeyb9m3bek Briddish, lol sucks for him. Good with art. Possible eugenicist. Writer of fan-fic 'Ripoff-Russ-Galactica'. Once c-box harassed by a kid from his school, who ended up just being flowsta. Is known to be disturbingly passionate about Arthropod/Lizard crossbreeding and various other CRIMES AGAINST NATURE. Discovered both iSketch and Taboo's identity. ff_zero Good guy. Boosts post count by spamming with 's. Took a long hiatus but returned this year and became elite'd. Recently got fired from his job, probably because he spent all day looking up entertainment news for FI instead of actually working. He now has way too much time on his hands. LOSTismylife Previously voted FI's friendliest member and once regularly expressed her unadulterated LUV for everyone on on the forums (save for ack, whose SUBTLE advances were often met with a definitive ). This pristine conception was abruptly shattered when her internets broke for a week and in the collateral blast everyone on FI became tainted by consummate FAIL and exclusively unworthy of LUV. Has been recently spotted avoiding FI by carefully circumnavigating the detour path through the HAM "fallout shelter". Recently came back to FI. MOAR recently left FI and the internets. davidtoms007 Religious nutjob. Pretends to be James Bond in his free time. As a result, he is very secretive, and nothing further is known about him. Kevin Cavanagh Kevin Cavanagh obviously has nothing to hide, because with his name out there in the open, all a haxx0r needs now is his e-mail address to steal his identity. Collaborated with Krkv6, who was most definitely very interested in the project, on a two part episode of Lost fan-fiction. Did a wonderful job of organizing Room 23 Constructed "Best LOST Scene" and "Best Comedic LOST One-Liner" tournaments in The Beach. Go Go Go!! lol kez FI's resident comic book and video game gay nerd. To the batmobile let's go atomic batteries to power turbins to speed roger ready to move out NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH Batman Batman Batman Batman WUOTE: What are you DENSE? Are you RETARDED or something? Who the HELL do you think I am? I'm the GODDAMN BATMAN. Ghidorah06 I WANT 2 BELIEVE Has a strange monster movie fetish. Ghidorah is also an Emmy award winning actor and he even does his own stunts! Ghidorah:'' "Don't mess with my reenactment!!! lol"'' slick14805 CALL HIM ISMAEL! Roots for the Cubs, wutanub. Even though his team hasn't won a championship in over 100 years!! He also is a member for HAM and plays Jack in the rpg (Rigged anyone??) HUGE Jack fan, wut a loser. WUOTE SLICK: "Hey just saw FIpedia where the hell am I?" "I know im new, but I think I should at least be mentioned at least in a two word sentence" "I got my picture but nooo I am not worthy to be on FIpedia...I got it all framd and everything" "come on u can do better for my FIpedia profile." As you can see, he enjoys bitching about not being included in the wiki, even after being included. Half the stuff here was written by slick himself. Slick soon started spam-advertising the HAM RPG, which is now deleted. WUOTE SLICK: Slick: http://s11.zetaboards.com/Hearts_And_Minds/forum/3000498 Slick: http://s11.zetaboards.com/Hearts_And_Minds/forum/3000498 Slick: http://s11.zetaboards.com/Hearts_And_Minds/forum/3000498 Slick: http://s11.zetaboards.com/Hearts_And_Minds/forum/3000498 Slick: http://s11.zetaboards.com/Hearts_And_Minds/forum/3000498 Slick: http://s11.zetaboards.com/Hearts_And_Minds/forum/3000498 Slick: http://s11.zetaboards.com/Hearts_And_Minds/forum/3000498 Slick: http://s11.zetaboards.com/Hearts_And_Minds/forum/3000498 Slick: http://s11.zetaboards.com/Hearts_And_Minds/forum/3000498 x918237519235892357982758 He is the holy trinity of Paco, Curtis, and Leah. Slick has recently been seen back on FI spaming it with some doc post to try to make a point or something. We put an oreo on him and he dissapeared for good. Gingers Gingers are members with redhair, pale skin and freckles and are the lowest on the FI: Totem Pole. Unfortunately, FI has recently become invaded by Gingers. There is no known cure for this cancer but the forum survives by ostracising the offending members and giving them their own Ginger sanctuary. This is in fact a junkyard, no it isn't but they don't know any better. No they don't. Meanwhile FI lives on by completely ignoring all passing Gingers lest they become organised and threaten the very internets we stand on. CurtisLost23 FI's Ginger, Ladeez man, rabid Charlie FANBOI, and the forums silliest little goose! Despite being a n00b, to everyone's amazement Curtis placed 4th in the FI: Elimination Game, although this shouldn't come as a surprise as it was his game and was clearly RIG'd. In his spare time, Curtis enjoys copying pages from Lostpedia. Recently came out of the closet.He is a GINGER and is the owner of an ESCORT SERVICE: AVAILABLE WIMMINZ Image:Curtis1.jpg Image:Curtis2.jpg Image:Curtis3.jpg Image:Curtis5.jpg Image:Curtis6.jpg Image:Curtis7.jpg Image:Curtis8.jpg He has a lot of sisters, lol Curtis recently CRUSHED all competition in FI's first mod elections. Since MOS was on hiatus, Curtis was made admin instead. LIS Stuck in the wastelands of Buffalo with fucktard ack, LIS came to FI later than the REAL members. Although he thinks he's ONE OF US, and tries to fit in by liking TEH SABERS (see: FAIL), due to his late arrival, he will never fully fit in. Hated by MOS, WUOTE: "LIS is just a douchebag." Often writes novels for posts. These novels are almost fully comprised of a strange language known as txt or nub spk. Enjoys murdering memes in his spare time. R.I.P. Mundai. Recently discovered to have herpes. Blair Malion's girlfriend, aka yet another stupid Malion account used to make it seem like he has IRL popularity and LUV interests. Founder of popular experimental rock band Domi Mondo Likes making introduction threads. WOULD-BE mods... lol moar lyk WOULD-BE elites Members of this highly selective group are TOO good to be mods. If it wasn't for being feared by the people in charge, these suppressed genius' would surly be in charge. simplton First official WOULD BE mod, Simplton is a retarded, southern teenage /b/tard. Spelling the name wrong is all part of the ruse. He tried to tone down his smrts to fit in with FI (see: picture), but there is only so much you can hide. Clearly, he was too smart for his own good, as he got found out. Unfortunately for FI, Simplton frequents the site much more often now. Recently he started making blogs for the FI community, but only the first of the three were any good. Russ posts tend to excite young simplton! In his spare time he hits his bitch of a sister. He also likes taking provocative pathetic photos of her where she's trying to look hot and flaunt her 'booty' but she just looks retarded. lol he's from the south if you didn't pick that up WUOTE: That Russ post was full of win! Update: simplton has found Jebus. He was hiding down in the crack between the couch cushions. Simplton also receives tries to receive hatless blowjobs. WUOTE: g1nger23 (1:24:05 AM): WHY do you think you need a hat g1nger23 (1:24:07 AM): take a guess SimpltonX2 (1:24:42 AM): to hide my erection? g1nger23 (1:24:51 AM): hahaha NO SimpltonX2 (1:25:11 AM): to cover her face? Recently, the dumb fuck Simplton posted a video to some sort of pr0n/murder/torture website. As a result, everyone still doesn't want him here. ThatLostGuy Also knows as "an Admin" TLG is a friend of simplton's ( ) who recently joined the site. TLG started writing a few FanFics, but shortly after starting he abandoned them, lol he'll fit right in. BEST MEMBER ON THE SITE, known for updating the wiki in a completely non-hilarious manner Henry42 aka flowsta This WOULD BE mod is not worth the effort of writing a blurb. Cause of death. with awesome posts as of late, such as "ROFLcopterzzzzzzzzz XD" and "luzerz die XXXDDD", henry is a russ-heart attack away from becoming elite! good for him!!! Citizen aka John Butt Trailblazing his way into FI lore, Citizen once claimed he'd disembowel his own father if it meant getting one last pelvic thrust upon a 50 X 50 animated GIF of Emilie De Ravin's wriggling feet. Other interests include: impromptu podiatry, bunion removal & self-storage, armless people, men who can fill up every inch of a novelty clown shoe, and genuine Camel Toe (NOT EUPHEMISM). Fortunatly for the good people on Further Instructions, the Colombian has returned to the site. He now splooges over Kristen Bell's feet and more importantly Heroes, God's gift to television. To tell you the truth, I have absolutly nothing to say about Citizen. I'm just trying to write enough shit so "SHOULD-BE Mods" isn't off-centered anymore :) Did Citizen mention that he has been re-watching season 4? ...! SHOULD-BE mods buttsex69 It goes without saying ... Related to: CRTMNBUTTSECKS RussianLove The forum conundrum ... HOO is he? Is he FGG? Is he gbvfan? Is he russ_who_ross (no, but it was lulz to say that he was)? Is he a she who chopped off his penis or turned it inside out (lol?) and got implants? Here's a KLUGH: he might not be any of these people, but he undoubtedly SHOULD be a mod. delia This valued member of our community has the greatest rep on FI without even making a post. She's that awesome. Aspen One day, a new user named Aspen joined FI. Because FI never gets new members, everyone immediately suspected him to be one of us, taboo or one of Paul's gay nerd friends. Everyone began pointing the finger at one another as Aspen sat back and watched the site tear itself apart. Aspen then posted a " :o!!!" which caused Paul to FREAK OUT and think the site was gonna be destoyed or something. Turns out he was wrong and now Paul thinks he's some sort of PROPHET to save us from ourselves. Note: He may be the JOKER and apparently wants bsrj dead. Rumors have also started concerning Aspen's psychic capabilities. Such are yet to be absolutely confirmed, but many are believers. WUOTE Hurley: Who is this guy? R.I.P. These members are no longer with us. They have become JOAKS. gbvfan God's second son. *WUOTE: Here is what has been really under my skin for the past few days: ''THIS COMMUNITY has nothing to do with other LOST fan sites, including TV.COM, which we all found out about this great website through. I'm sick and tired of some members arguing over frivolous things, especially when it comes to LOST, or other LOST web pages. Isn't that what we came here for? This site has become something that it was never intended to be. We all are here (members old and new, creators of this site) to discuss the television show we all LOVE. ''What has happened? Why are there (even if it is in some sort of joking reference) tension between the members. ''TV.COM is SHIT. I've never visited any other sites. I come here to discuss LOST, the show we all LOVE. I am so tired of any member referencing other web sites! That is bullshit. This web page is devoted to THIS COMMUNITY of LOST lovers. ''Yes, it is a long time until the 4th season begins. But what started out as 'possibly' interesting topics (other than stupid fucking games) I will never believe Paul or Dutchiee wanted this to be. ''NOW - with that being said, the members of this web site have become great people in my eyes, whether or not I disagree with their opinions. BUT THAT IS WHAT MAKES THIS SITE different than any other LOST site! C'mon people. Stop fucking around. ''I have been in touch with MOS (who, in my opinion, knows, or loves, everything about LOST). I am hoping the lot of us can put differences aside (personal differences, not opinion differences) behind us. ''We NEED to make this web site, and EVERY members opinions, matter. This (correct me if I'm wrong) is what this site was created for! ''In summary, think about what LOST means to each and every one of you. THEN, think of what would happen if members that you have grown to love and respect backed out on it. Does any member want that?! I sure don't. I've said my piece. If anyone wants to bring up something with me, please do. YOU owe it to this wonderful group of fans. ''And, if any member is thinking 'Wait a minute, what about you, Ben?' Jay (sunlust) and I are hardly EVER on the same page when it comes to favorite characters or favorite episodes. BUT - do I dislike, or in anyway, not respect his opinions? ''FUCK NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I respect his opinions and insight incredibly. lol, retard SkateGame Firewalls and droogz Believed to be the 1st EMO ever. In the intervening time of WIKI DISAPPEARANCE HYSTERIA, SkateGame has returned and everyone likes him now. Even though he wasn't voted to be an elite, he somehow is one. Good job, Paul. Also since his return he is obsessive with reviews and being like MOS. He still enjoys being a badass though glostlover Enjoys Dildos. Teddy313 Teddy aka IVAN FamilyGuyGary FamilyGuyGary, otherwise known as FGG, is yet another classic example of a Briddish Twat. Neurotic over his passions--Family Guy, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and, most recently, Heroes -- FGG flips out over the most miniscule criticism, and in his final performance, deleted the Heroes Board. He returned to the site with a vengeance as Russianlove, but after being discovered by Sherlock Homes, staged a real comeback. His hobbies include eating popcorn and spamming forums. He's back. Test_Account Test_Account was an intergalactic pedophile and notable forum muppet who, in the depths of his cold polyester vas deferens, just wanted to find a place to belong. After hearing from Keldorn Firecam and AMERICA that poll rigging wasn't a means to this end, he decided it wise to challenge superior FI members to unwinnable cbox donnybrooks and arbitrary FEETS OF SKILL. One fateful day after tossing a particularly painful barb of 'rooss' at the MAN OF COOKEEZ, Test_Account abruptly found himself kabob'd lengthwise by 2 wit-laden rapiers. Before his breathing grew forever hushed, he saw through the blinding glint of tandem blades that they were wielded by the aforementioned Rooss and that illegal hentai fluffer known as BUNCRUST. Suddenly DocYoda managed to somehow heyguyswutsgoingon himself out from cowering in a nearby foxhole and wuoted a timelessly unmemorable rooss SIG. Fleeting lulz were shared. * THE WUOTE IN WUESTION: DoctorYoda: I'm not sure I understand you guys ... a new user called Test_Account started posting ... and you both ... killed him? lol dat's right dock. Test_Account has since risen from the ashes. Ackermaniv now frequently uses the account to RIG polls in his favour. angrykoopa You took his ONLY food. Likes: Intel, FamilyGuyGary. Known for making jokes about azns but then when someone else makes one he gets all offended and never signs onto FI again, lol. DoctorYoda: It's Koopa. Do you expect anything to make sense? Zuko412: not really. _______________________________________________________________________________________ Koopa: I GO TO COLLAGE NOW, IF YOU MISS ME YOU CAN ADD ME ON TEH FACEBOOK JUST LOOK UP ANGRYKOOPA Sawyer_Gota_Gun A legend, plain and simple. He is the most infamous Tv.com user, and it's a shame that he disappeared from the internets before the FI revolution started. His major claim to fame was his Liam = Patchy theory (made through his secondary account, DilJohnLocke). SGG's GREATEST HITS * Liam = Patchy * Hurley's pimpmobile * Eko's strip club * BOYS ONLY THREAD Unfortunately, most of these threads have been deleted. The Liam = Patchy thread is saved somewhere on Porlus' computer, but all the others are GONE FOREVER. R.I.P. Eventually, because SGG is a RETARD, he created an account called Aussy_M8 and trolled the forums with it in order to draw off the negative attention directed towards his main account, Sawyer_Gota_Gun. It worked, but temporarily. Aussy_M8 got IP-banned which means that ALL of SGG's accounts were banned. SGG and DJL's names lived on... A_M8's, not so much. So his plan ultimately FAILED. And that is the story all about how Tv.com got flipped-turned upside down. Tv.com was never the same after SGG's banishment. There have been MANY imitators of the great SGG, all equally FAIL. Lord_Taboo Previously known as sawyer_gotta_gun (FAKE SGG. Note the misspelling of 'Gota'), Taboo was banned from the forum for being a primordial turd that not belong on FI, plus a spammer and a troll. Then Taboo created her own fort along with her sidekick duck, Dill. lol dat's rite, Taboo was later discovered to be a GURL. She named this site Catch 22 and used it to respond to what people were saying on the FI cbox even though no1 cared what she had to say. She did this obsessively for WEEKS STILL DOES THIS, along with e-mailing members of FI telling them to convince Paul to unban her from FI. Taboo is truly the single-most pathetic lifeform ever to grace FI, and that's saying something. lol ANYWAY... *WUOTE: "Ok, so I sorta need to rant because there's only one other time in my life I've felt so confused. On May 18th, 19th, and 20th 13 ducklings hatched bc one of my ducks had a nest we didnt know bout till it was too late. So in teh beginning it was all fine and dandy and I had loads of fun with teh 13 of them. I immediately put them in my room (Dill wasnt too happy bout that) and for the next month & a 1/2 or so I thought I was teh luckiest person in teh world for having so many adorable ducklings to play with. But then they started moulting, getting their adult feathers in. Dust and feathers covered the room (and still do) and thats where the trouble started. With each month that went by they became even more uncontrollable mess wise and I feel that I'm enslaved by ducks. So here's the prob. What do I do? My room is completly destroyed. I have to get new floor, have the walls painted, they ruined tons of my stuff no mattter how hard I tryed to duck proof teh place..not to mention killing most my plants. it'll take forever to clean teh room but most of all I dont know what to do with them. I love them alot, srsly. But I cant even sleep in my room anymore for my health. I'm allergic to ducks so it was bad enough with Dill alone in my room and now I've got 14 in all in there and the dust/feathers are unbelieveable. So bottom line: they have to leave my room BUT I cant just throw them outside cuz they get eaten by racoons/foxes and who knows what other animals. Also they cost tons to feed and ive got 23 ducks in all to feed, not to mention wild ones that come so my parents wont quit fussing to me bout the stupid money. So like I think I'll have to put them outside and let them run loose in the backyard during day, at nite pen them up till i can find homes for them with my "duck ppl". Yet theres still a prob cuz my dad wont build a pen and i couldnt to save my life... Why most things be so difficult? I'm confused, angry, upset, nervous, fusterated, + inexpliable feelings I cant even explain..'''seems like someone would explode with so many emotions. I just really really dont wanna get rid of my ducks. I've let them destroy my things and bedroom for over 7 months and then I have to simply give them anyway? I'd rather give away some of the outdoor ducks instead but my folks won't hear of that. They dont understand how difficult this is. I just want to be free... So I'll keep Will, Chris, Claire, another girl, and of course Dill and give away the rest I guess. I just dont know how I'll part with teh rest. Another concern of mine is the other pets in my room sides teh ducks. Theo, my syrian is making a clicky noise which def. isnt good. She has allergies to things like me but I dont think this is a allergie. I hope she has a cold bc if she doesnt its most likely a respiratory infection which isnt curable. '''And if the ducks caused it there will be retribution. Alright, end of rant. It didnt really help me sort out what I'm going to do but I suppose it made me feel better all teh same." Nicolas Cage A few months into Taboo's rants and raves over at her madhouse, something had to be done. This is when Nicolas Cage descended his presence onto the land that we trod troll: the internets. Nicolas Cage explosively took over the admin position at Catch 22, and descended the site into utter chaos. With his SIDEKICK lol_wut pear, they covered the site with his glorious image. Taboo restored the site, but not long after, Nicolas Cage wiped it out again. Taboo, seeing that this was an impossible battle, and that Catch 22 was beyond repair, made a new Catch 22. Nicolas Cage is now a meme and stands for justice against internet retardation everywhere. Though his appearances are rare, when he appears, he hits HARD. Taboo incarnations Seeing that she'll never be let back on FI, ever, Taboo resorted to using proxies in order to talk to people that lament her presence. These incarnations include, but are not limited to: * vh1Reject * Man_Of_Faith42 * Ben * William * Sawyer * Dharma Hanso actually this one was Zuko trying to prove some point that no1 gave a fuck about * Pipin * COUNTLESS amount of cbox incarnations too numerous to list WUOTE William: "One of which has some major issues and I recommend he see a '''physiologist'. (and I’m not talking about paul btw)."'' BUT, it's not that she WANTS to be on FI, it's about the PRINCIPLE! =History= Shit happened. Admin and Mod History There have been many changes in staff during FI's history. Here's a re-cap Paul - Admin - Created site Linda - Mod - Showed up early and was mod'd Dutchiee - Admin - Showed up at site Doc - Mod - Demanded he be mod'd in exchange for recruits Skate - Mod - Showed up and was mod'd Skate - Unmod - Emo'd and Demod'd Dutchiee - Unadmin - Quit MOS - Admin - Came back after months, incentive to stay CRTMN - Mod - He came back from Black Rock, incentive to stay Doc - Admin - Promoted in time of need Linda - Unmod - Was never here Russ - Mod - Staff vote Paul - Unadmin - Quit Curtis - Admin - FI vote Russ - Admin - Incentive to stop bitching about Curtis being Admin first CRTMN - Admin - Incentive to stop bitching about being the only mod Paul - Admin - readmin'd to fix banners (?) Zuko - Admin - paul thought this was a smrt idea. as you will see from what happens, clearly it wasn't Citizen - Admin - zuko is st00pid Ack - Admin - lol ack missed out on his 15 minutes of FI fame Zuko, Citizen - has-been-mod'd - got deadmined because they sucked Ack - Elite - reverted to where he was. unaware that anything happened Russ - Unadmin'd - turned into henry and let bsjr destroy the cbox Russ - Mod - Because he was the rhinoceRoos in the forum jungle with the cbox monkey throwing CRTMN coconuts. It was the only logical thing to do. Events In FI's history, a lot of epic shit's gone down. HERE'S A RECAP. MOS' Departure The long and the short of it is, everyone was making fun of MOS for having a gay fettish for Matthew Fox. MOS couldn't handle the heat, and left. During his absence, he cried like a bitch to GBVfan. Some amount of time later, MOS came to the site disguised as DYLAN (made up friend), to see if he was still welcome. He blamed his absence on his Mom's shinglz. LOL. In typical fashion, Paul offered MOS admin-status, baring that he returned. As of today, the forum is cluttered with MOS-fail. THNX PAUL. lol @ his mom having shinglz. talk about major fail. FI Episode Guides ROFL The WAR Disguised as a fun little game, the WAR was actually a culmination of animosity amidst the Ack/Doc vs. Dutchiee/Linda FEUD and a genuine civil war that was the catalyst for the creation of Black Cock. This was actually the only time that glostlover wasn't bored with the site, and she proved herself to be quite the stand-up comedian! RPG The straw that broke the camel's back, the RPG officially sent Dutchiee to the Loony Bin. It all began when St. Douchebag had the bright idea to make a ... UNDER CONSTRUCTION Creation of Black Rock Black Cock happened when ShokoLove joined the forum one sunny winter afternoon. Unfortunately a local retard and KKK member was around, and made some racial slur in a redneck drawl. ShokoLove responded by: not getting offended. But then some smug asshole took offence so ShokoLove whipped out his black snake and duelled with ack's burning cross throughout the night. Eventually, his black cock had taken a burning, and suffered many splinters, but all good Christian children must eventually perish and ack was smited just like it was SNAKES ON A PLANE. Black Rock, on the other hand, was created shortly after the culmination of the WAR. MrDutchiee became weary of all the unhappy vibes of FI, so he founded a place of popcorn, Dr. Pepper, gumdrops, and lollipops. It was a magical land free from the vile stench of Ackermaniv, DoctorYoda, Paulus, Russ, Zuko, and others. That was until Paulus gatecrashed and CANDYLAND WAS TAINTED (with taint) FROM THAT DAY FORWARD. Soon after, EVERYBODY from Taboo to Ack and their mothers were spying on BR and they didn't even know it, lol. They just went on posting obliviously with much Dr. Pepper and popcorn consumption to be had, until they finally figured out that Black Rock was a brainless pile of shit and they came crawling back to FI. BBPE FUCKING RIG Creation of the Wiki The FI wiki is a testament to its own FAIL. It was created by Zuko412 on March 28, 2008 and in basically 24 hours it had more content than any other Invisionfree wiki. Clearly, the members have too much time on their hands. Except Dutchiee. He has too many dicks in his hands. Zeta conversion looooool nvmnd Lostifyed and World War I Zuko, in an attempt to gain some new users from Tv.com (lol like anyone would want to follow him any where. RIGHT, NICOLE?), went there. To his surprise, a n00b named Lostifyed had made multiple threads including 'Christian Shepard is not dead!' a tiny teory which he linked to FI. In this thread, Lostifyed had shown much bigotry and knowledge of the bible, which he lorded over everybody else. Paul and co. went to the thread to stop him, only to make an enemy. Paul and co. eventually found themselves constantly hounded by this man. TO BE CONTINUED Ack's Departure: Part 1 & 2 Once upon a time, ack revealed to the forum that he actually likes drinking Mike's Hard Lemonade. Russ and paco set about on a vitriolic campaign of lulz against him and his poof drinks. After one particularly snide remark in the c-box, ack banned Milpool, who then long con'd Paulus into giving him temporary admin CP. Milpool set about immediately, permanently and lulzily deleting ackerman's account. Other board members didn't find it so lulzy however and Russ was slightly reprimanded. Moments later, everyone remembered that ack is basically a fagtard anyway and decided to take Russ's side even though he was clearly in the wrong. Quote: Oh boo-fucking-hoo. Emo kid got his PRECIOUS POST COUNT erased. Rinse, wash, long con, repeat. EPIC RAEP of WPA Approximately yesterday, the good denizens of FI grew tired with their infrequent trolling of WPA for mere minutes at a time before inevitable ban, and Anonypaul decided to share the link with the respectable people at /b/. At first no one cared for his thread and it was met with a typically negative reaction about Anonymous not being your personal army etc. However, Anonymous then began to try WPA for themselves and saw that it was epic lulz. Soon WPA's chatbox was FLOODED with Anonymous who signed on with names such as Ann Us, Muhd Cips, Joseph Fritzl, Jack Candle, etc. Anonymous continued to cause hilarious trouble, stalled only by the inevitable IP bans that were easily circumnavigated by /b/tards trolls. All this was too much for poor Rhonda to deal with on her own, and resulted in the monitors calling Dr Jeffrey Lant himself. Anonymous, FI tips its hat to you. *Sea-Bocks wuotes: Paulus2: I can't watch a MAN SNAP LIVE ... russ_who_ross: i have the troll's remorse russ_who_ross: but i also have the troll's-still-finding-this-hilarious *WPA wuotes Anonymous: Rhonda, how do I view you in fullscreen so I can whack off to you? Batman bin Suparman: lol i'm TWO superheroes Rhonda Fletcher MCEC: I think these kids need ... someone to make them some cookies and milk ... so they go somewhere else. PLZ ADD MOAR IF U CAN AND IF U REMEMBER ANY MOAR BUT IF U DON'T ITS OK DNT WORRY :-) Gallery of pwn Image:Wpa2.JPG‎ Image:Wpa3.JPG‎ Image:Wpab.JPG FI Elections One day, MOS and Dock decided they needed help after Paul stepped down, and started an election to find the new mod of FI. The candidates were, Simplton, Ack, Mal, ff, Joey, Curtis, rich, kgp, bsrj and zuko. Ack made banners insulting everyone while Dutchiee's erection grew larger at the thought of Joey winning. Quote Dutchiee: JOEY 4 MOD!!!!! Surprisingly, Brian MOS'd it up, and failed to come through with any of his promised debates. The whole election the became just a series of polls. Rich was eliminated and tried to convince everyone to note vote...no1 listened. In in interesting strategic move, ack quit. Curtis won every poll and beat Mal in the finals. Since MOS was gone, Curtis was made admin and is now yellow HAM Deletion ...lol! *Correction* HAM Attempted Deletion... ^ lol @ charliepaceMBE in denial. But srsly, HAM got deleted, and it was epic. The Ages of FI Here is a rough timetable of FI's evolution. Prehistory FI began of course, as an offshoot of tv.com. Many people were disgruntled and angry about tv.com's repressive moderation policies. More and more of the good users got banned, while stupid noobs were free to spam all they liked. Something had to be done. A solution had to be found. That's when one plucky young boy named Paulus decided to create his own website; a place where free thought, genuine Lost discussion, and unrestricted lulz could be shared by all. This place was to be FI. The First Age of FI (a.k.a. The Dark Ages) In the beginning, the site had only four or five members. However, DoctorYoda soon embarked on the campaign trail, PM'ing decent members from tv.com en masse and convincing them to come here instead. Before long, nubs were pouring into FI by the dozens, usually beginning with the question "IS DIS YODER'S SITE LOL." Most of these nubs did not stand the test of time; but many of them did and remain long-standing regulars to this day. The first age of FI can be characterised by gumdrops and rainbows. Everyone would post unnecessary smiley faces after each sentence. They would joke about Dr. Pepper and have WUB WARZ. Everyone was very polite and caring about each other. It was all very lame. But underneath the surface lurked trouble. The seeds were sewn very early on for conflict between two of the site's most powerful users: founder Paulus, and newly appointed admin Dutchiee. So while some users remained completely oblivious to what was happening, a cold war was beginning to heat up beneath the surface. The Second Age of FI (a.k.a. the Early Modern Ages) The second age of FI exploded onto our computer screens with two dramatic events that changed the website forever. Firstly, gbvfan went batshit insane and attacked all of FI without provocation in the utterly hilarious Further Instructions: READ thread. This had the effect of changing the way people on FI relate to each other and to how we look at joaks. Indeed, the joak as an art form only began to flourish following gbv's mental breakdown. Secondly, the Paul and Dutchiee war quickly came into full swing under the guise of a joak war. But this was no joak war; this was the real FI civil war that tore the site in two. Dutchiee and his followers exiled to Black Rock, which aimed to recreate the shitty early conditions of the first age of FI. Paulus however managed to destroy Dutchiee's base, and Dutchiee and his followers crawled back to FI, where they remained in tense relations with the powers that be. Dutchiee, of course, lost his adminship. But a replacement was not hard to find. Being emo and an easy target, MOS ran off crying from the website, but was brought back by Paul in exchange for an admin position. MOS also pays for the c-box, lol. The Third Age of FI (a.k.a. the Modern Ages) Two cataclysmic events represented the shift into the modern ages of FI. Firstly, the Lostifyed war, a.k.a. World War 1, was a massive success and involved the participation of nearly the whole site. In effect, this war united the sections of the site that had become divided in the civil war. Never had FI prospered so much. Secondly, bsrj posted a picture of his face. The joak, as an art form, was thrust into a whole new paradigm of lulz. Other, smaller causes led us into the third age, such as the hacking of MOS's life. It was clear, by this stage, that as far as joaks are concerned, ANYTHING GOES. The success against GOOTJK was repeated at HAM. Early on in this age, Paulus turned the frozen honkey wheel and permanently renounced his adminship. The site was left in the questionably capable hands of MOS and DoctorYoda. Upon winning a mod election, Curtis was also made admin, and to shut him up, so was Roos. By this point, any smily faces were used purely sarcastically, having long been replaced by the more hostile/ambiguous emoticons: garyface, penguin, pirate, Locke, bsrjface and Mr. T. The future No one can say what the future holds for FI. We cannot know when a fourth age will be upon us, for these things can only be known in hindsight. One suggestion is that we look to Zuko for the way forward, as he is clearly the member who is the most open to extreme possibilities. Summary For those too lazy to read any of the above, here's a PLOT SUMMARY: FI: WUB WUB SUNSHINE LOLLIPOPS, RAINBOWS EVERYTHING DE DA DA.... ACK: Hey I finally managed to get this site working miss my fags what is this shit lol all of you are fucking retarded die in a fire of my gastric juices coated in the sperm of my seething rage *kicks child* FI: uh....hai...ack....lol ACK: HEY DIPSHIT TAKE A PICKTOOR IT WILL LAST LONGER ACK: BTW I'm Ben lol GBV: NNNNGRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH NOBODY WILL LAUGH AT THE NAME BEN THOUSAND PORL: It's a very funny name lol... GBV: STOP ARGUING ABOUT LOST! Porl: say wot? GBV: GETT OFF YOUR CHINK HIGH HORSE TICKLE MONSTER FUCK NO!!!!! dutchiee: LOOK WHAT YOU DID ACK, AND YOU DIDN'T TAKE THE RPG SRSLY Doc: lol fu dutchiee calm down dutchiee: DON'T TELL ME WHAT I CAN'T DO *abstains from FI* dutchiee: BTW taboo my site is located here lol ->> LINK TO BLACK ROCK Taboo: Oh hai porl why aren't you at ->> LINK TO BLACK ROCK Lol Porl: *INSERT BULLSHIT ABOUT PROSPERITY AND LIVE TOGETHA DIE ALONE* BR: SUNSHINE LOLLI CRTMN: POPS AND RAINBOWS EVERYTHINK lalalalala Porl: CRTMN U CAN HAS BE MOD LOL CRTMN: o thx lol AND POPCORN DR PEPPERRRRR Doc: You're a fag CRTMN CRTMN:....yeah I am lol *JOINS THE MAJORITY* Dutchiee: WE CAN MAKE DIS WORK GUYS FGG: YES LET US MAKE THIS WORK tribalchic: you need to get laid FGG: BAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW (note the above three lines ACTUALLY HAPPENED) FGG: OK I HAVE GOTTEN OVER IT LET US BE LESS MEAN NEXT TIME OK all of BR except Linder, dutchiee, FGG and SUCRE-FAN: ...cbf Dutchiee: FINE LEAVE, I AM FI FI: lol welcum bak Dutchiee: I have cum bak as well i am unaffected by the recent tun of evant dat has wot fukn da fuk fuk a kunt gehy Porl: lol kewl MOS: I MIGHT LEAVE OCCASIONALLY Porl: No you can be admin BTW pay for a domain and this cbox MOS: YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND! FGG: I have decided to come back Joey: lol here is a ham PORL: what is it for? Joey: Lol it are for british. Porl: oh okay. You know FI is fully equipped so that all viewers needn't worry about future plotlines being leaked. We're actually going to great lengths to ensure the integrity of this Joey: dis is just in case lol I want to be sure i am not just power mad and wanting my own forum Porl: Well okay then! Joey: HAM IS NOW A SITE FOR US LOST TOO WE JOINED FORCES WITH SOME GHEY SITE THEY ARE KEWL FI: -TIME PASSES- FGG: SO DAT HEROES IS GUD Porl: Here is member forums you can make a Heroes one FGG: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY *eats popcorn* EVERYBODY EVER: Heroes is the worst show ever I swear to god FGG: GUYS THIS IS FOR POSITIVE OPINIONS ONLY EVERYBODY EVER: YOUR FACE is for positive opinions only FGG: BAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW *deletes heroes board* -NOT LONG AFTER- FGG: hai my name is russianlove yoder is a kyke big nose jew faggot face illegal chink russ: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL RUSSIANLOVE: FU YODER *EDIT* is cool russ: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL RussianLove: *EDIT* KLUGH: i am sorry guys let us be friends now I will leave forever. -SOMETIME LATER on TV.cOM- Ohohohoho I am Lostifyed, the new messiah. I dislike homosexuals, believe the Earth is 3000 years old and like pointing out obvious facts about Lost in verbose posts. I do this several hundred times a day. FI: Lol you suck Lostifyed (ON FI): You are all horrible sinners I am a much more moral person than you all are. Now go and be ashamed of yourselves. I am great. -one month later cut to a shot of Lostifyed in the middle of the DESERT with a JACOBEAN Knights sign rocking back and forth- Lol dat shoed him. -LATER- HAM: Hello I am from HAM we have an RPG blah blah blah RPG I will RPG your RPG if you RPG Porl: lol... HAM: INCLUDE ME IN EVERYTHING EVER I ONLY JUST JOINED Porl: will do... HAM: NOW RPG THE RPG RPG HAM IS AWESOME Porl: lol.... HAM: HAM is so much better than this site RPG RPG LA LA FAGGOT FACE RPG FI: -presses the HAM NUKE button- Haggis: Well I get more sex and money than any of you losers I am great FI: -HAGGIS PIC- ALL THE WHILE THE ABOVE IS HAPPENING: Taboo: I am SGG *BANNED* Ethan: I am lord taboo *BANNED* I am genuine ne- *BANNED* WILL YOU STOP B - *BANNED* I WANT TO B - *BANNED* - *BANNED* I WILL HAVE MY VENGEANCE - *BANNED* YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE LAST OF LORD TABOO - *BANNED* Nicolas Cage: want me to deal with this? Yoder: Yes plz nick cage NICK CAGE: *CATCH 22 is LOL* ANYTIME YODER, ANYTIME. You really can't get it all in there. This is without WPA, gbv's many comebacks etc. =Memes= In FI's history, many memes (or inside jokes) have been created. All memes must first be approved by the Meme Keeper and later on, killed by LIS. Dead Memes Because memes are so LULZY, every member upon discovering one does their best to repeat it over and over again. This is a brilliant plan as surely if you keep saying the same joke repeatedly it naturally gets better. However joak physics intervene and as a result, memes die. There are three known causes of death for a meme: 1.) Repeat usage: People use it so many times that it actually becomes the anti-funnee. At this stage using the meme is on a par to Hiroshima. 2.) LIS: It is a known fact that LIS has rare genetic makeup that means any meme he comes in contact with withers and dies on the spot. Since this discovery memes have gone into hiding lest they be discovered by the infamous joak-killer. 3.) MOS: See above. Except that in his case replace memes with everything ever. geraldpringle Once upon a time, a normal user with a funny name joined FI. Swoonlust capitalised on this name by making a joak and so everybody from 10,000 miles around all started laughing and bowing fearfully. * WUOTE: "MrDutchiee? more like geraldpringle" - buncrust Some people were unsatisfied with the myth or legend and so a search and recovery operation spanned the internets in desperation to find the man behind the fail. As a result they eventually discovered he was just some guy no1 carez about. Though the meme lived on until it was kill'd, it occasionally resurfaces but like most kill'd memes it can never be brought back from the grave. geraldpringle has shown signs of angst. It is thus believed he may be emo. Mundai Mundai was given as the date MOS would actually do shit. MOS never does shit and so it was reasoned Mundai was in fact the FI apocalypse..the day where everything ever would actually take place. However Mundai is the quintessential example of a dead meme. A mere week after it's hilarious concoction, LIS set about vanquishing it with his dual blades of overkill and ~lame~. As a result Mundai was banished to the wastelands of the internet where it forever haunts the planes of the eternally retarded. I dont understanf One day, Joey made a hilarious post, saying he didn't understanf. A few days later, Ack and Curtis overused it in an episode of the SHIT FANFIC. Joey then said it outside of the fanfic and it died forever. *WUOTE: "I dont understanf" - JoeLostDrama Mal memes Mal memes are a rare breed. They all share one unique characteristic, and that's that they die upon birth. However, due to Mal's necrophiliac tendencies, he often times re-animates these corpses of memes for his own sick pleasure. No one laughs. Example of a typical conversation with Mal: DoctorYoda: lol russ_who_ross: lol Mal: Yellow DoctorYoda: ... hai. Mal: Holy Magikarp! russ_who_ross: wut? Mal: It's Ion! Ion's here! Nooooo! Ion: Shut up dude. Just go away Mal. russ_who_ross: Mal: Not a chance, you faker. DoctorYoda: sunIust: looool.. i'll take care of this.. Linder: Hey Sun. sunIust: looool.. hai Linda.. *beats Ion down with a TIRE IRON* Linder: DAMMIT MAL. Ion: Nooo! You've defeated me! Mal: ... in lie land. russ_who_ross: wow. this conversation just went to shit. Mal: Fare enough, Mal: Now you can ride the bus. DoctorYoda: sigh. Mal: Just a little moar, Ivysaur! Mal: Get it? Ivysaur rhymes with moar. Get it? DoctorYoda: We get it russ_who_ross: i'm leaving. bye. DoctorYoda: yeah... me too... Mal: ...The silence means it's working. Undead Memes Some memes can never die. They are just too funny. In their case being used loads may even make them funnier. Lol wut? This is actually a 4chan meme, but Paulus snuck it in pretending it was his own work because he lacks a funee-bone. Eventually the truth came out, but the pear remained funny and so still gets usage today. It is a fact that 90% of the board's posts are "lol wut". Hey guys whats going on Hey guys whats going on http://i117.photobucket.com/albums/o76/3231983/delete.jpg Hey guys whats going on http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z281/i4-/deletecopy.png Hey guys whats going on http://i203.photobucket.com/albums/aa227/CRTMN0463/Santa.jpg Hey guys whats going on PROTIP: There are a million variations of this phrase all of which are not funny. Examples include "wuts going on". The only correct way to say this is "Hey guys whats going on" with no punctuation or grammar. Vincent Vincent Bsrj face The utter hilarity of this meme is endless. bsrj's going to the SHOPS http://i293.photobucket.com/albums/mm50/fitheseries/bsrjsmall.jpg bsrj's going to the ZOO http://img218.imageshack.us/img218/443/bsrjpm2.png bsrj's going to the TOILET http://i293.photobucket.com/albums/mm50/fitheseries/bsrj.jpg Flea market bsrj http://i290.photobucket.com/albums/ll257/COTVimages/flea_market_montgomery.gif Hey guys whats going on bsrj http://i211.photobucket.com/albums/bb311/ackerman_22/bsjr.jpg Dancing bsrj http://i290.photobucket.com/albums/ll257/COTVimages/bsrjdance.gif PBsrJ http://i290.photobucket.com/albums/ll257/COTVimages/pbrj.gif Muslim bsrj http://i293.photobucket.com/albums/mm50/fitheseries/allah22.jpg Cho Aniki bsrj http://i290.photobucket.com/albums/ll257/COTVimages/bsrj2.gif Paulus bsrj http://i293.photobucket.com/albums/mm50/fitheseries/LOLBSRJ.jpg WPA WPA is srs bzns. Just ask Goran Edstrom. 7GnlGPdsuFk Dr. Jeffrey Lant The god of WPA. That's why EVERY morning, he's up early, and addresses the world with his daily webcasts which enlighten the world with his sheer brilliance and excellency. TRIVIA: "Lant" actually means "aged urine", but don't tell him that or you'll be BEFFREY BAN'T for HERESY by one of his followers, lol. WUOTE: "I've been blessed in my life. No question about it. But, as Browning said, 'the best is yet to come.' That's why EVERY morning, I'm up early, ready to dig into my email and see who I can help today. The Internet seems to me to be what I was waiting for my entire life, right from the day, over a half-century ago, when I published my first article. Thanks to Worldprofit Inc. and the Internet, I am in constant touch with ever expanding numbers of people worldwide who want to profit from this amazing medium, just as I have done. I'm standing by RIGHT NOW to help you." I am visible like the elf! Once upon a time DocYoda was trying to connect up an external hard drive but it wasn't working and the only instructions he had were in Wapanese. Milpool babelfish'd the instructions into English and dis was wot we got: *WUOTE: My wa name is with chiyaari 15 occasions. Is to come the pa the biting ya to be, with be to be there is a me. Because I hyper am always, the empty my yu maggot am I to come, it is calling, it is to accomplish the u!　Also before it is Daniel. Daniel does netsutoboru the time. How it goes to the ji school with Daniel, is. Tenth being grade, kuinumarisuhaisukurui it goes. The school is disliking, but the be it is today we like Japanese. We are unskillful for Japanese to release. Liking, to do for baorino, the empty it is the be it is today we like the ku. However whether the ji yo u of is at German. Don't you think? the za it is, it is, German does the ji yo u and whether of keeps is if in to be, it does not do, if occasion. As for me it cannot go the te consequence you wipe not to come. Green uinetsukusueta the green skirt comes with the green blouse. I am visible like the elf! At eight o'clock the tsu like this it is possible and as for the paragraph oak school eight ji five to sufficiently there is no beginning and others. The ji yu gi yo u nine ji from ten o'clock is to three ji 40 time. As for me VERY HELPFUL THANKYOU JAPAN. Real-time recreation Would-Be-Memes Some inside jokes have fallen short of meme status. They are equally as hilarious, but never attained the level of attention as a full-blown meme. Sometimes this is [http://forums.wikia.com/wiki/Further_Instructions#Dead_Memes for the best, however. Paulus' sister I'll tell you about this would-be-meme as soon as Paulus is done fucking her in the ass. Don't hold your breath. Johnny the Elephant http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v611/Paulus2/johnny2.gif Some krazy elephant that Paco claims to see while in his drunken state, which is 24/7. Count Chocula Count Chocula was an attempted meme that was considered funny for about 2 minutes. The meme worked through repetition of the phrase 'Count Chocula' and/or by posting a different picture of Count Chocula. Things reached their climax when the Count Chocula tournament subforum was established, in which Count Choculas went head-to-head in multiple, near-identical polls. Then a Frankenberry was posted and the joak was over as soon as it had begun. In its final dying moments, some slightly creative users invented variations on the joak. Count Dracula, Count Blacula, Count Mackula, Count Duckula, Count Fuckula, Cunt Chocula and for some reason the Cookie Monster were featured briefly. No1 cares. SRSNESS and JOAKS On FI, everyone is always and yet never srs. A typical discourse is as follows: Dock: CRTMN, that's the stupidest idea ever, srsly. CRTMN: That hurts, dock. Why would you say such a mean thing? You're such a dick. Dock: I was only JOAKING. LOL @ you for taking it so SRS. CRTMN: O yeh well I was JOAKING TOO, LOL @ YOU for taking my srsness so srsly. Dock: LOL, I knew you were joaking, omg you thought I was being srs when I said you were taking things too srsly. CRTMN: rofl ... dock, I've been joaking the whole time. Being srs on the internets is about the biggest FI faux pas EVAR. Because of this, nobody ever knows when anyone is srs or telling a joak. The issue is confused further by the fact that many people use faux-srsness as part of their joaks, such as the epic ack-russ c-box cop ban warz when CRTMN thought they were being srs (lol) when they were actually PM'ing each other laughing about it the entire time. Even more confusingly, it is becoming even more the norm to pretend to be joaking when actually taking something srs, to avoid the stigma of TAKING THINGS SRSLY. For evidence look to recent MOS posts when his ideas are criticised. * WUOTE: "Trying to laugh things off is the new taking things srsly" - buttsex69. What does the future hold for joaks? One prediction is that people will soon begin pretending to be srs as part of a joak that is made to cover up their actual srsness. Though it could be that their actual srsness is just part of yet another hilarious joak. etc. However, there are a However, there are a couple of things that FI actually DOES take SRSLY. And that's genuine srsly, not faux-srsly for lulz. They are: * Pronography. Pronography is not allowed on FI because it could get us all Beffrey Ban't. See also: DAMONa (section coming soon). * Spoilers, and sometimes, foilers. Since America is not, as is commonly believed, the EPICENTER (< edited for the incorrect BRIT spelling of "epicentre", BRIT spelling is only used on that small island out in the middle of nowhere, so, it has been corrected to American spelling) of the universe, some people only get the show afterwards. Hence the current episode discussion forum. And also even some Americans (and Mexicans) like to watch the show unspoil'd. Some retards have, in the past, spoil't others and have consequently been bant. * Terrorism. THO, 1 MAN'S TERRIST IS ANOTER MANS FREEDUM FITER!!!!!!!!1 Some retards have, in the past, not taken terrorism srsly enough and have consequently been bant. * Being a primordial turd that does not belong on FI. We don't exactly have high standards but some retards have, in the past, been primordial turds that do not belong on FI and have consequently been bant. * None of the above things. Conclusion Don't take it so srsly. I was only joaking. Gary Talk to the face, cause the ... face ain't listening(?) There are many different types of Gary. They are describes as follows. Dancing Gary Huge Gary Did you mean: [http://forums.wikia.com/wiki/Further_Instructions#MrDutchiee Huge Gay '] Huge Gary is currently the hugest Gary that is recognised by FI. In the past there have been huger Garies, but these got so big that they crashed browsers and fail'd to load properly. Huge Gary serves many purposes such as: * If you say something stupid in the c-box, post a Huge Gary so no one sees it * Spamming the c-box * Getting the attention of an admin or mod * (Related to above suggestion) Provoking IslandQueen into a fight * Expression of "WTF" at something Zuko or MOS just said (though not as extreme as the Gary column) * Lulz Huge Winky Huge Gary + sarcasm Tiny Gary Actually larger than regular size Gary, lol, his name is a reference to his size in relation to Huge Gary. Many consider Tiny Gary to be a mild form of blasphemy. Sunburned Very Tiny Gary Gary column Only EVAR to be used in EXCEPTIONAL circumstances of wtf. Like the type of situations where you would ACTUALLY TYPE OUT "WHAT THE FUCK" (in capitals) rather than simply typing "wtf". The Gary column was invented when Zuko asked on the c-box if a baby appearing out of nowhere would be "realistic or not" (lol?) Fails The Gary row This is an exceptional fail and should never be used by anyone for any reason. In fact the Gary row may be remedied by a well-placed Gary column, resulting in the Gary grid (see below). Too many Garies + This is considered spam as well as an epic fail. Any more than four garies means you're a fucking idiot and a racist. Interrupted Gary column ackermaniv: hey guys wuts goin on This would be considered a fail, though you would not be held personally responsible. Or maybe you would. Please be considerate of other people Gary column'ing and do not barge into the c-box without first checking. Gary column'ing without a good reason NEVAR EVAR ''EVAR GARY COLUMN UNLESS IT IS AN EXCEPTIONAL "WTF" MOMENT. The Gary grid Pointless. Just use a Huge Gary. The Gary Gary Oh god Barbara, hide the kids! The Gary totem pole Discovered by fuck_who_toss and MoonofSkiing. Although not in itself a fail per se, it is extremely hard to synchronise on the spot (or at all) and so is 93% likely to result in a fail (for instance, an eight-gary high gary totem pole as you both tried to do Gary columns). =Ex.: = russ_who_ross: ManOfScience118: russ_who_ross: ManOfScience118: Gary tennis Evolving out of the Gary totem pole, Gary tennis is played by rapidly posting Garies back and forth on the c-box until someone fucks up. This is harder than it sounds. Copy and pasting Garies is considered RIG and you will be ban't. Our current top rally is five Garies before fail. '''russ_who_ross: ManOfScience118: russ_who_ross: ManOfScience118: russ_who_ross: :\ ManOfScience118: Hahaha russ_who_ross: FUCK =Videos= Doc & Mal's horrible song videos JPDrFq_-GuE SVjHGnerRvk Simplton's video blogs =*WUOTES= Below is a list of WUOTES said by various FI members. russ_who_ross "i secksed a men once." "as all real men know, there is nothing more manly than leaving children to burn." sunlust "Mr. Dutchiee? more like geraldpringle" "sounds like some pr0n i dl'ed.." Acker Whacker "isn't krkv like 27 or something... didn't he say that over at drunkwithpower.com? or am i just tripping shit right now?" "i took the most painful shit in the world yesterday. i felt like i got bumfukked" DoctorYoda "LOL who cares it's Minnesota." "MOS ruins trends almost as quickly as LIS @ the chimpanzee in the toilet." Paulus2 "LOL @ the concept of ack being a mod...that's like putting Hitler in charge of human resources." "Primordial turds do not belong on FI" "I love how a thread about cars immediately turned into a discussion of Zuko's penis." "Oh boo-fucking-hoo. Emo kid got his PRECIOUS POST COUNT erased." Manofscience118 "LIS is just a douchebag." "The contests will start up on Mundai." "I AM GOING TO SLIT YOUR THROAT." CRTMN0463 "Well.. on the inner cheeks.. yea.. not literally coming from my asshole" "Srsly, no one else has hair there?" "I wish I could stick it in my Wii.." Zuko412 "lol there homophobes." "Tv.com" "Linda, I'd sex you into a coma." "So your gay nerd friends will now be mucking up the epic tale of FI?" "Im depressed because my sim caught his wife cheating.... " "Wuts a ZJ?" "Why is my pip not a picture?" "I fheh" "I want to ... TV.COM ... firends." ":" "Oh, though, my life is not as flamorous as it may seem" "Why, Tuss." "Zuko" Curtislost23 "My girlfriend called me a lazy dumbass, is that a bad sign?" Lostinsimpsons "Fucking banana peel...you DON'T FIND IT FUNNY EVEN WHEN IT'S NOT ME!" OTHER QUOTES "I hate Intel" - Angrykoopa "Opens... trenchcoat? - Bylvia McCormick "fu" - Angrykoopa "Are you all going bonkers?" - lucydiana "I recommend he see a physiologist. (and I’m not talking about paul btw)." - Taboo ADD MORE QUOTES PLZ